As we are getting ready to mark my husbands "2 years in service", I find myself remembering those first few "scary" months, moving to a new place, meeting new people, and the tons of advice and gossip. Man I look back at those days and I can not believe it has been 2 years since we embarked on this journey.
I know this post might sound a little hypocritical because at one time I really did agree with the statement when someone made it but after the past few months I don't completely agree with it anymore.
When we first got here I had numerous spouses vent their frustration about spouses that acted like they wore the ranks their husbands did, those comments usually sounded something like this "I hate spouses who think that just because their husband is (insert rank) they too are (insert rank)" To begin with I agreed because I could totally see how that would be annoying but man after the last 6 or so months I can completely understand why spouses would think that way. Don't get me wrong I will be the first to admit it WAS NOT me who went through BMT, nor is it me who deploys and goes away from my spouse and children, but let me tell you I work very hard for my husband to earn his rank, at the end of the day he will be the one sewing on that rank but lets be honest who is going to be the one taking those uniforms to the alteration shop? As well as making sure dinner is fixed the house is cleaned, I have a sitter and I look nice for the promotion ceremony, oh and don't forget to pick up the uniform that way he doesn't get in trouble by showing up wearing the wrong rank. And that's just one day...when he is home, how about the days he is deployed. He goes to work for 12 hours where he is roomed with anywhere for 3 to 7 other guys so far but he still get a twin size bed to himself and will eventually get at least one day off... hopefully and call us a when he gets a chance, let me tell you about a day in my life when he is deployed. I sleep in my queen size bed with at least one of our kids who no matter what age they are they take up well over half they bed usually with one of their extremities very heavily laying on me, wake up at 0630 to get the oldest out of bed which is usually a battle (in my opinion somewhat similar to the war zone my husband is in) get him out the door just in time for the baby to wake up yet again, listen to him tell me he wants to watch Elmo for what seems like to 1,500th time that morning alone (I firmly believe they should make terrorists watch Elmo during their interrogations), lay the baby down for his nap in time for the oldest one to come crashing in the door after school in turn waking the baby up, listen to them argue over whether we are going to play video games or watch Elmo yet again eat dinner do homework take baths and go to bed where I then have to read two separate books to them because "Thomas the trains is for babies" and the bible stories are to long for the baby's attention span. Then sit up until at least 2am talking to Josh, just in time to start the whole process all over again. The closet thing to a day off I get is the "Give parents a break" nights that the base provides which is 4 hours one Friday a month. There are some days I think I would gladly trade places with him just for the time he has that he could sleep but then I realize that after doing this routine for as many months as I have been my body clock tells me to wake up after 4 hours of sleep. Did I go to BMT? No nor did I get a briefing or did anyone tell me what to expect coming into this no they sure did not. I wasn't ignorant coming into this I knew it wouldn't be easy but boy was I surprised at how much of an adjustment it was.
So no I don't wear my husbands rank, but I work really hard to make sure that sewing on that rank is a possibility. I find it rather ironic that many of the same spouses that were venting the complaint about other spouses letting their husbands rank going to their heads were the same ones that like to call themselves the "silent hero's". Don't get me wrong most military wives are the silent hero's, we hold down the home front while they are on the war front. But really what is the difference in being the silent hero's and taking pride in the hard work that our we and our husbands put in. I caught myself telling someone the other day that Josh and I had worked hard for his promotion and in almost 4 years of being married I don't think I have ever said anything more true then that (besides how much I love him). I don't regret any of it nor would I take any of it back Iam so proud of the people we have become in the past 2 years. Iam very proud to say that my husband is an A1C and TOGETHER we have gotten to this point in our lives and if that makes it sound like I too wear my husbands ranks then I am proud to say it.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
BFF's
I don't know about anyone else but during his deployments I find myself thinking and remembering the past. Lately I have been doing alot of reminiscing about the past even as far back as highschool. Which can really make an almost 27 year old woman feel really old lol.
I remember going to school in the morning and meeting my friends I always knew that no matter what my friends Sarah, Heather, Destiny, and Stephanie would be there for me no matter what the situation was. I remember my senior year when I got in a real bad car accident Sarah, destiny and Heather all came over and brought me an M&M cookie ice cream sandwich (I collected the M&M characters) and later that night an extremely concerned Stephanie came over and helped me wash my hair, and later sat there and held me while the reality of over being killed in a car wreck hit me. Memories like often pop into my mind. I look at the lifestyle Josh and I have chosen to live and it often brings me back to highschool in so many ways. The new adventures and the anxiety that comes with coming into a world that nothing makes sense and you get lost a drop of a hat one wrong turn and your late to wherever your going. As a girl who wasn't very popular in highchool I just had "cool" friends, this life also reminds of when I used to meet new people at the beginning of a semester. You know those numerous questions that flooded your mind after that initial conversation..."Did I say something retarded?" "Did I talk to much?" "What are they going to say to their friends about me?". I know how completely immature I sound but you see I am a people pleaser I enjoy trying to make sure everyone around me is happy and often times find myself being rather critical on myself when it comes to meeting new people. Another memory is from shortly after we moved to South Carolina one of Josh's Sargent's was having a cookout to celebrate the unit return from a longer then expected TDY to Vegas at this party I met an awesome woman by the name of Jessica, we had a nice conversation, it was so awesome to me while it lasted to get an insight from another spouse as to what to expect she seemed like such a strong and independent woman it was so great to finally talk to a grown up for a change in stead of my 8 month old and at the time 6 year old, who often were the only ones to keep me company in those days. After that cookout I found those same nagging questions lingering in my head from highschool. When we came into this life I knew I was a likable person and thought I was a pretty awesome friends, not people can have the same friends since they were in the 6th grade and as blessed as Iam to still have those friends when we came out here it was a whole new world, I hadn't had to make friends in over a decade and now I didn't know how to do it. That night as I got ready for bed I found myself thinking all those questions that used to nag my mind in highschool. I remember the uneasy realization of not only had we left our friends and family behind and learn a new kinda demanding lifestyle but now I have to learn ALL over again how to make friends!!! Are you kidding me? I was 25 years old and to me this should have been something as basic that I should have learned in kindergarten and not forgot it kind of like riding a bike!!
I also remember walking around with Sarah, Heather, Destiny, and Stephanie talking about boys and referring to ourselves as Best Friends and sharing experiences that none of were never supposed to tell anyone about and all those other silly things that 15 to 18 year old girls hold near and dear to our hearts. Man were those days simple... These days in my life I look at my group of friends and often envy the simpler days of highschool when it seemed like we had forever to get to know one another, and now at the drop of a piece of paper (literally) the friends I have will move to another location and have to go through the uneasy feeling of making new friends. I find myself making friends and memories like those I made in highschoolhighschool are what make life not only so much more fun but worth taking the adventure that life hands us. I want to thank all of my friends both past and present. I want to thank my friends from the past for helping me to make those memories and giving me the reassurance of knowing what good friends are and for the wonderful memories I have of all of us. And the friends from the present for helping me everyday and for helping me to relearn how to make friends and not only for the numerous memories we already have but for the ones yet to come. I wouldn't be the person Iam today with the help and fun of all of you.
I remember going to school in the morning and meeting my friends I always knew that no matter what my friends Sarah, Heather, Destiny, and Stephanie would be there for me no matter what the situation was. I remember my senior year when I got in a real bad car accident Sarah, destiny and Heather all came over and brought me an M&M cookie ice cream sandwich (I collected the M&M characters) and later that night an extremely concerned Stephanie came over and helped me wash my hair, and later sat there and held me while the reality of over being killed in a car wreck hit me. Memories like often pop into my mind. I look at the lifestyle Josh and I have chosen to live and it often brings me back to highschool in so many ways. The new adventures and the anxiety that comes with coming into a world that nothing makes sense and you get lost a drop of a hat one wrong turn and your late to wherever your going. As a girl who wasn't very popular in highchool I just had "cool" friends, this life also reminds of when I used to meet new people at the beginning of a semester. You know those numerous questions that flooded your mind after that initial conversation..."Did I say something retarded?" "Did I talk to much?" "What are they going to say to their friends about me?". I know how completely immature I sound but you see I am a people pleaser I enjoy trying to make sure everyone around me is happy and often times find myself being rather critical on myself when it comes to meeting new people. Another memory is from shortly after we moved to South Carolina one of Josh's Sargent's was having a cookout to celebrate the unit return from a longer then expected TDY to Vegas at this party I met an awesome woman by the name of Jessica, we had a nice conversation, it was so awesome to me while it lasted to get an insight from another spouse as to what to expect she seemed like such a strong and independent woman it was so great to finally talk to a grown up for a change in stead of my 8 month old and at the time 6 year old, who often were the only ones to keep me company in those days. After that cookout I found those same nagging questions lingering in my head from highschool. When we came into this life I knew I was a likable person and thought I was a pretty awesome friends, not people can have the same friends since they were in the 6th grade and as blessed as Iam to still have those friends when we came out here it was a whole new world, I hadn't had to make friends in over a decade and now I didn't know how to do it. That night as I got ready for bed I found myself thinking all those questions that used to nag my mind in highschool. I remember the uneasy realization of not only had we left our friends and family behind and learn a new kinda demanding lifestyle but now I have to learn ALL over again how to make friends!!! Are you kidding me? I was 25 years old and to me this should have been something as basic that I should have learned in kindergarten and not forgot it kind of like riding a bike!!
I also remember walking around with Sarah, Heather, Destiny, and Stephanie talking about boys and referring to ourselves as Best Friends and sharing experiences that none of were never supposed to tell anyone about and all those other silly things that 15 to 18 year old girls hold near and dear to our hearts. Man were those days simple... These days in my life I look at my group of friends and often envy the simpler days of highschool when it seemed like we had forever to get to know one another, and now at the drop of a piece of paper (literally) the friends I have will move to another location and have to go through the uneasy feeling of making new friends. I find myself making friends and memories like those I made in highschoolhighschool are what make life not only so much more fun but worth taking the adventure that life hands us. I want to thank all of my friends both past and present. I want to thank my friends from the past for helping me to make those memories and giving me the reassurance of knowing what good friends are and for the wonderful memories I have of all of us. And the friends from the present for helping me everyday and for helping me to relearn how to make friends and not only for the numerous memories we already have but for the ones yet to come. I wouldn't be the person Iam today with the help and fun of all of you.
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