So I was reading a fellow military wife's blog a few weeks ago and she was answering the question "what makes a good Military spouse?" To which her reply was, (mind you this is NOT a quote), but her reply way that being a military spouse is no different then being a civilian spouse. So you can only imagine my surprise in reading that. See my husband and I didn't join the military until we were in our mid 20's so we had and experiencing taste of civilian life prior to military. I used to be the civilian wife and to be honest I have yet to find anything that I have in common with my old life. As a military wife you take on the role of mommy and daddy most of the time and yet you still proudly wear your wedding ring, and lack the bitterness that most single parents have, you replace bitterness with this overwhelming sense of pride not only in the hero that your husband is but also in the amazing strengths that you find in yourself everyday, not only when they are gone but also when they are at home. I used to say that as long on my grandparents were alive I would never leave Kansas, it turns out that when it came time to do what was best for our family we not only left Kansas but we went almost as far from Kansas as we could and still be in the United States. There is this wonderful comfort in knowing that your family lives within 10 miles, and to pack up you kids and move this far away from that comfort is incredibly brave. As a spouse you not only have to keep your mind together for the movers and the handlers of your stuff but you also have to keep you mind and emotions together for your husband and kids. We have a 6 almost 7 year little boy, Gavin and next to my husband that little boy is my hero. He fearlessly let us lead him in this adventure he not only agreed but does so everyday with amazing strength and bravery, see I love the baby to pieces too but Justice will always know military life where Gavin knew daddy before the uniform. Does Gavin know to show that strength on his own, not he has had amazing examples in his life to. As a military spouse you learn real quick how to budget an entire family on minimal funds because you know that you could go to work, however how much does that job pay you when your kids have to kiss daddy goodbye for at least 6 months at a time and kiss mommy goodbye everyday, in our family the children's security can never add up to any paycheck someone could cut me. As a military spouse you not only buy furniture that will look good in your house you buy furniture that will A: fit in your weight allowance next time you PCS but that B: can be used in multiple rooms for many years simply because who knows what your next living arrangements may or may not be like. Military wives also know how to find the cardboard box that looks just like the others that has the decorations in them because if you can't make your house look like something you would live in back home it will never be home, and usually while the mover are unloading the boxes and setting up your furniture she (or he) is usually looking for nails to hang those decorations on the walls so that when you do finally get to sleep that night you will wake up in familiar settings even when nothing else looks right, Military spouses also learn real quick how tired is just right so that when hubby is deployed you can push yourself that far so that when you get into your bed you can fall asleep as soon as possible as to not have enough time to think about how incredibly lonely that big bed really can get. Military spouses know to make every second count when they are home, because when they leave it's the seconds you didn't make count that nag a your conscience Military spouses also understand that you can grieve someone even when they haven't passed and how simply turning on their car so it will run when they return home can bring and incredibly strong and brave women (or man) to tears. Military spouses know true frustration and I don't mean the kind when Wal-Mart doesn't have your favorite fabric softener, I mean the kind of frustration that comes with putting up a banner that says "Welcome Home Daddy" 3 or 4 different times because the plans have changed once again or the frustration that comes when every form on communication you have with your loved one that is half way around the world seems to all go out at the same time.
Coming from being a single mom and civilian wife to joining this wonderful lifestyle I could have never imagined how difficult that really was until I had been both, so or someone to say that being a military spouse is the same as being a civilian spouse to me is almost insane. Military spouses hold a level of strength, bravery, honor and independence that continue to this day that amazes me. I love getting stuck driving at 1700 for reveille most of the time when I am alone it brings tears to my eyes to know that I am surrounded by so many brave and wonderful individual willing to do what we do everyday so that our spouses can ensure my kids that they will enjoy the same freedoms I did growing up in America. Are military spouses "better" then civilian spouse they sure are not, we just know and handle life differently then others. Can anyone be a military spouse? to be honest I don't know I haven't been one long enough but Iam sure that anyone can, it just depends on you handle stress and how willing you are to letting your husbands career come first and foremost in your family, and by that I mean I put everything I have into making sure that Josh can do whatever he has to ensure that he looks good and is in good stance with his unit. At the end of the day whether we like it or not what we do reflects on our husbands and if my husband doesn't look good or have good work ethic then in the long run that makes our life here more difficult not only for him but also for me and our kids.
