This seems to be a rough start to my new blog but given recent events I just can't help but find the need to voice the irritation that has come into my life.
When Josh and I started looking into joining the military there were the obvious fears, you know fear of the unknown, the fear of starting all over, and the fear of leaving our families. But the over positive people that we try to be we decided to make a point of finding the silver lining rather then dwelling on the negatives that the fears would bring. Given that I had been blessed with having the same friends since I was in middle school I had always considered myself a decent friend. My friends knew that if they ever needed anything no matter the time of the day or night I would be the first to answer the call and because of the integrity I was always given the same respect. I was always taught you don't change who you are or where you came from for anything. So after 17 moths, a lot of jumping through hoops, BMT and Tech school we embarked on our exciting and scary adventure called military life. We have been here at Shaw for a little over a year now and it almost seems like there a fewer and fewer people here that remember the value of making and keeping friends in this always unstable lifestyle. I mean don't get me wrong I wasn't ignorant, I didn't believe for a minute that you could put this many spouses in one location and not expect drama but what I did expect was a closer family feeling. Families don't all get along all the time but at least they give it some effort. I have met so many spouses that have told me that they had friends but they got "burnt" so now they just stay to themselves. Which makes total sense in a normal life where you are surrounded by your family and friends but when you are surrounded by young couples who have given up everything that they hold dear in their lives so that their husbands just like yours can deploy more often then they are home, locking yourself in your house because you got your feelings hurt seems rather self-centered to me. You cant put this many females in one place and expect them all to get along all the time but really I think it's time that we as military wives put our big girl panties on and stop being so self centered. This life is a great life full of many sacrifices, we have sacrificed the friends and family that we grew up with, why does being a military wife mean you that you should have to sacrifice the prospect of having new great friends simply because they ones of us that are here are too "scared" to make life easier on the new comers?
Now I am writing this because I too have recently been burned and it completely sucks and the only thing that keeps me from staying home is the fact that there are people out there that need help. Our husbands are demanded to live with integrity, how can we consider ourselves decent military spouses if we can't live with the same level of integrity that is expected of our husbands. It makes me so happy to know that when my husband deploys he has an entire unit willing to have if back if a situation were to ever call for it but as a spouse it makes me so very sad to think that as spouses we consider ourselves lucky if we have one good friend to have our backs. Lets be honest yes as military wives people see us and think they really have their act together they can handle it by themselves but just getting my husband home from his first deployment most of the things that needed to be done I could have handled it by myself but honestly that fast trip to Wal-Mart was made alot faster and easier when a friend offered to watch the boys so I could go and after all isn't that what a family or support system is about, not doing everything for you but making it easier for you when you do have t do it. To me if our husband are selfless enough to give up time with their family that they can not get back then there is absolutely no excuse good enough not to show a few fellow spouses that same attitude. It's called integrity either live by it or stop pretending to be the "proud military wife" it's giving the rest of us a bad name.
